The Host Club: Adventures in WalMart!
by Pandaninja of Awesomeness
Summary: Haruhi has to drag the host club boys to Wal-Mart with her to do her shopping! But of course, they can't do anything without turning it into a show!
1. Chapter 1

**The Host Club: First Wal-Mart Adventure!**

**Haruhi: **OK guys, I'm only taking you guys in here because you were standing outside my apartment like sad little puppies. I only need to pick up a few things, so we'll just be in and out. No more than ten minutes, got it?

**Tamaki:** Oh, Haruhi, don't be such a party pooper! I've never been to such a big retail store before! Whoa! Look over there at that! They have a pyramid of Commoner's Coffee!

**Hunny: **Look Takashi! All the cake I could eat in an hour! And look at the different flavors and shapes!

**Mori:** … Canned tuna …

**Hikaru & Kaoru (unison): **All those shirts exactly the same! Yay! Mass production! Mass production!

**Kyoya: **All those black books… leather…. Spiral… all less than twenty dollars… where have you been all my life? 3

**Haruhi:** Guys, seriously, don't cause a scene. It's just your normal everyday wal-mart. Stop acting like tourists!

**Tamaki:** Yes men! Stop embarrassing my daughter!

**Haruhi: **Not your daughter…

**Tamaki: **Momma! Why won't Haruhi go along with my game!

**Kyoya:** Not your wife…

**Hikaru:** Oh, Haruhi! Wouldn't this dress look so cute on you?

**Haruhi: **I am not, by any means, wearing a strapless, low-cut, revealing dress like that anywhere!

**Kyoya: **Come now, Haruhi, pictures of you cosplaying in that dress would be very profitable to the club. I could take the picture with this camera… way cheaper than my one at home…

**Mori:** … Mori approves …

**Hunny: **Oh Haru-chan! You would look sweet! Almost as sweet as that cake over there!

**Kyoya:** Um… sorry to rain on your parade Hunny-sempai… but that's a wedding cake.

**Kaoru: **Shouldn't we-

**Hikaru:** Go get what we need, Haruhi?

**Haruhi:** Thank you guys. I need to get some laundry detergent… and dad said he needed more lipstick … hey, since you guys are out here, do you want me to cook lunch?

**Everyone:** Yes! :D

**Haruhi: **Ok, I'll go get some hamburger helper.

**Hikaru:** Hamburger –

**Kaoru: - **helper?

**Haruhi:** yea… you know… the spices and noodles you put with hamburger meat to make a meal?

**Kyoya: **Sounds… cheap….(Insert frantic black book writing here)

**Tamaki: **Anything you cook will be as good as any gourmet food I've ever eaten honey

**Haruhi: **Again… I'm not your daughter…. Or your honey…

**And so, probably not going to get out of Wal-Mart anytime soon, Haruhi and the host club go in search of hamburger helper, and lipstick. How long will this "Normal everyday shopping trip" take? Read part 2 to find out! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Host Club: Adventures in Wal-Mart!**

**Part 2**

**Tamaki: **Haruhi! What is this strange contraption with wheels and is made of metal?

**Kyoya:** I believe that is a shopping cart, Tamaki. It's apparently used to carry more items rather than carrying them everywhere.

**Hikaru: **Wow. Commoners are smarter than I thought.

**Haruhi: **Guys, can we seriously just hurry up and get what we need? I'm starting to get weird looks.

**Tamaki:** Oh, they're just jealous Haruhi! They're just jealous they can't look as good as moi! It's not every day that God creates a star as bright as I!

**Hunny: **I've heard that somewhere before…

**Mori: **Ya. (Guilty Beauty Love reference here)

**Kaoru:** Hey Haruhi, is this the Hamburger Helper?

**Haruhi:** No, that's a package of string cheese.

**Kyoya: **I wonder why all these boxes have pictures of little animals on them.

**Haruhi:** You guys are so strange! It's not like it's a big deal to go to Wal-mart and get Hamburger Helper.

**Tamaki:** But honey! This experience is so new and so… cheap! There so many different aisles and food and easy ways to cook it… we should come here every day! :D

**Haruhi:** Oh heck no! I am never dragging you people with me to Wal-Mart again! Ok I'll cut you a deal. If you stay right here while I go get my dad's lipstick, I'll buy you anything you want within a 10.00 limit, ok?

**All:** Ok! :D!

**Will the boys get their little souvenir from Wal-Mart? Or will their usual curiosity overcome them? Find out in part 3! And I promise I won't take so long to put it up next time XD**


	3. Chapter 3

Host Club: Adventures in Wal-Mart!

Part 3!

**A/N: I am so sorry it took so long to get this up! Between projects, tests, and trying to keep my grades up, it's been a little busy… you know how it goes! Please bear with me for the next chapter, because it'll take a little while longer with those big benchmark tests. Oh well. Look forward to it, and enjoy!**

**Tamaki:** (Hums tune) geez, how long is Haruhi gonna take?

**Kyoya: **I don't know, but I am growing impatient.

**Hikaru: **if she doesn't hurry up, I'll have to go look for her myself.

**Kaoru: **Hikaru, you don't mean-

**Hikaru: **I do.

**Hunny: **Are you saying-

**Hikaru:** I am. I have to venture into-

**Kyoya: **the girly unknown-

**All: **The cosmetics department.

**Tamaki:** No way. It's way too risky to lose one of our men in there.

**Kyoya: **You do realize that, once upon a time, we dressed up as girls and snuck into a girl's only academy?

**Tamaki: **Yes, I know, but this… is too dangerous. Hikaru could get glomped by screaming fangirls, or the Lobelia girls could show up, recognize him, and take revenge!

**Kaoru: **Tamaki, you're so dense! Not every girl goes to the SAME store to buy makeup. Don't be sexist!

**Tamaki: **(Whimpers and curls up in the middle of the aisle)

**Haruhi: **Tamaki-sempai! What do think you're doing? People are staring!

**Tamaki: **Kaoru hurt my feelings!

**Kaoru: **he's just mad because he's sexist and doesn't want to admit it.

**Store Clerk: **Excuse me young lady, but are you with these boys?

**Haruhi: **yes ma'am, these are my friends. Is there a problem?

**Store Clerk: **Well, I saw a teenage boy in the aisle, and I was wondering what the problem was.

**Haruhi: **oh, there's no problem ma'am. He's just a little… different.

**Store Clerk: **Okay, if there's no problem, I must be going now.

**Haruhi: **Guys! I told you to stay right there and not to bother anything!

**Tamaki: **But, sweetie, we -

**Haruhi: **(Eye turning red) Shut up, Sempai! I'm especially mad at you! You don't get anything from the store! I don't want to hear a word from you, or see you either!

**Tamaki: **…

**Mori: **…

**Haruhi: **Ok, so I have Dad's lipstick, now we need to get some hamburger helper. Then we'll be ready to go.

**Hunny: **But Haru-chan! You said you would get something for us if we did what you said!

**Haruhi: **Well, Tamaki ruined that for you. Sorry, Hunny-Sempai.

**All: **TAMAKI! You're dead!

**Finally, Haruhi can mark off one of the two things on her shopping list. But will she have the strength to get out of Wal-Mart sane? Will Tamaki even make it out of there alive? Find out next chapter! **


End file.
